Skip to main content
Community Counseling, Education, and Research Center

Supporting Loved Ones: Boundaries, Compassion, & Self-Care by Marisol Garcia-Sandoval & A’Laure Pope

February 12, 2025

Do you find yourself being that person that everyone turns to? Maybe it is a friend, a family member, or a co-worker who is constantly seeking your advice or support. Your kind, empathetic, and loving nature can make it hard to set boundaries and could cause compassion fatigue or burnout. We still want to help and care deeply for those closest to us. How can we achieve a balance? 

It is important to consider how culture impacts our view on interpersonal relationships, norms, and expectations. Some examples include being the “Eldest Son or Daughter of Immigrant Parents,” “the Expert at Work,” or being the “Therapist Friend.” How others perceive us and what is expected can take a toll on our mental health. Some impacts on mental health include: 

  • Anxiety/ Stress: Constant worry/pressure to meet expectations, problem-solving for others, or taking on too much responsibility
  • Low-Self Esteem/Self-worth: Fear of disappointing others, perfectionism, or blaming self 
  • Relationship Challenges: Not engaging in mutually supportive relationships, unhealthy boundaries, resentment, or not speaking up 
  • Role/Identity Confusion: Unsure of wants and needs, unbalanced family dynamics, or not knowing who you are 

4 TIPS ON FINDING A BALANCE 

  1. Practice Self Care 

        Find something you enjoy. This can be something simple like journaling, going for a walk, eating something that brings you joy, watching your favorite show, going to the gym, taking a long bath/shower, or listening to music. The possibilities are endless! This can be something that you do for even 5 minutes. Starting small is the key! 

        2. Setting Clear Boundaries 

            This one can be tricky! Remember, boundaries are for you, and we cannot control other people’s behavior. 

            3. Connect with Others

            Find your people! It is okay to lean on your support system. If you have not had the opportunity to build your support system, get creative! Find an online space where it is safe to connect. If you are going through a crisis you can contact the National 24/7 Crisis Helpline , the NC Hopeline  or 988 Suicide. 

            4. Practice Self-Compassion 

            It can be easy to be empathetic to others, but more challenging to extend that to one’s self. 

            References: 

            Chatterjee, Deshna. (2024). UNDERSTANDING ‘ELDEST DAUGHTER SYNDROME’. INTERNATIONAL JOURNAL OF CREATIVE RESEARCH THOUGHTS. 12. 586-596. 10.1729/Journal.39495. 

            Stoewen D. L. (2020). Moving from compassion fatigue to compassion resilience Part 4: Signs and consequences of compassion fatigue. The Canadian veterinary journal = La revue veterinaire canadienne, 61(11), 1207–1209.