4 Steps to Mindfulness and Gratitude During the Holidays by Kirsten Marino
What is Mindfulness?
Have you heard of mindfulness? A simple definition of mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment, on purpose, without judgment. It truly can be just this simple. Why then, do so many of us find it so difficult to do? With our hectic lives, filled with a plethora of electronic devices, where society seems to keep us focused on “doing,” instead of “being,” this is no big surprise.
Why are the holidays so stressful?
As we find ourselves in the midst of the holiday season, this chaos seems to increase ten-fold, as we often find that we are barely surviving all of the purchasing of gifts for loved-ones, cookie baking, holiday parties, and other random holiday activities that might leave us almost breathless. Depression may settle in, as we feel heavy and burdened, carried away by the holiday avalanche. Guilt can exacerbate the depression because we might feel that we “should” be feeling joyous and happy at this time of year, but we just can’t seem to get ourselves there. If any of this sounds familiar, you may be asking for a cure; how to fix the holiday stress and how to learn to enjoy the holidays with all of the festivities that are included, once and for all.
4 Steps to Mindfulness
Again, it sounds simple, but how in the world can “being grateful” be the panacea for which we have been searching? The answer is, the act of being grateful directly relates to the amount of joy that any of us is able to experience. If you don’t believe me, try it for yourself:
- Gratitude exercise. Close your eyes, first taking a few deep breaths, and think of 1 to 3 things for which you are grateful. They don’t have to be big things but can be as small as being grateful for the tree that you pass every day on your day to work, the toothbrush that you have that helps to keep your teeth looking clean and healthy, or your favorite, plaid shirt, that keeps you feeling cozy on those chilly, winter days.
- Awareness. The next step is to notice. Notice how you feel when you are thinking about something for which you are grateful. This is where the mindfulness comes into play.
- Be present. Pay attention to the present moment without judgment, which equates to “with acceptance.”
- Notice how your body feels. Does your body feel open or contracted? Where, exactly in your body do you feel this? My bet is that because you’ve thought about something positive, like being grateful, it will be easier for another positive thought to come into your mind. Einstein said; essentially, “Like (energy) attracts like (energy),” which can also be applied to our thoughts. Thoughts are energy.
Apply Gratitude to Those Around You
This gratitude can be applied to people, as well. Instead of becoming annoyed about a particular family member, trying gratitude. Try focusing on a positive quality of Great-Aunt Mabel, for instance. You might want to first try something small like, “I like her earrings.” This positive thought might invite in another positive thought, which might be something like, “I never noticed that she has a nice smile.” Before you know it, you might be experiencing some understanding and compassion for Great-Aunt Mabel that might even look something like, “It must have been really, difficult for her when she first arrived to America without having any family or money. I guess it makes sense why I have perceived her to be distant and cold in the past… Her husband died ten years ago and she’s probably been very, lonely. I am happy to know her.” With these thoughts of gratitude and compassion, you will most likely find it a lot easier to connect with someone who has annoyed you in the past. You are giving them the gift of freedom, by allowing them out of their “box,” and allowing them to be something other than your expectations of them. You might even get some joy out of it.
So, during this holiday season, remember to breathe, pause, be grateful, and then to allow yourself to be JOYFUL. After all, you deserve it; we all do!
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